Yesterday, I cried.
Nov 14, 2014 9:51:16 GMT -7
Post by Akua on Nov 14, 2014 9:51:16 GMT -7
I was a blubbering fool. Nothing was going right, stress was piling up, and I wept.
I can say that life at my university is like nothing that I've experienced before. I've gone through roller coasters in my faith and tides in my life. I've denounced God and succumbed to mammon. I've failed chemistry tests and questioned my future.... a lot. I've been harassed on the metro and challenged, no, derided for what I believe in.
I'd like to tell myself that it's just the difficulty of the courses that I'm taking. General Chemistry at my particular university is known for it's incredibly difficulty in that kids who were good enough to get into Ivies are all getting D's on their exams. Sometimes I say that it's the social atmosphere- that because of everybody's incredible intelligence, they often are too wrapped up in self to acknowledge God or pay mind to Him. It could be the abundance of food that I've been eating and the exercise that I've not been doing. Or it really could be that I've given so much of myself to random guys here because I liked feeling loved.
Earlier this summer, I asked God to use me. I said, "Lord... I'm kind of in a stagnant place right now. Use me dramatically, turn my life story upside down so I can seek you clearly and earnestly." Boy, does God deliver.
When such trials and tribulations came my way, I didn't know how to seek God. I didn't know that I could cry out to Him and spill my heart's song. I had no idea that I could intimately confide in Him, my worries and stresses and lbs that I've gained and friends that I've lost and money that I've wasted and people that I've hurt and the Savior that I've forgotten. Until yesterday, that is.
Yesterday, I cried. And it was wonderful.
I can say that life at my university is like nothing that I've experienced before. I've gone through roller coasters in my faith and tides in my life. I've denounced God and succumbed to mammon. I've failed chemistry tests and questioned my future.... a lot. I've been harassed on the metro and challenged, no, derided for what I believe in.
I'd like to tell myself that it's just the difficulty of the courses that I'm taking. General Chemistry at my particular university is known for it's incredibly difficulty in that kids who were good enough to get into Ivies are all getting D's on their exams. Sometimes I say that it's the social atmosphere- that because of everybody's incredible intelligence, they often are too wrapped up in self to acknowledge God or pay mind to Him. It could be the abundance of food that I've been eating and the exercise that I've not been doing. Or it really could be that I've given so much of myself to random guys here because I liked feeling loved.
Earlier this summer, I asked God to use me. I said, "Lord... I'm kind of in a stagnant place right now. Use me dramatically, turn my life story upside down so I can seek you clearly and earnestly." Boy, does God deliver.
When such trials and tribulations came my way, I didn't know how to seek God. I didn't know that I could cry out to Him and spill my heart's song. I had no idea that I could intimately confide in Him, my worries and stresses and lbs that I've gained and friends that I've lost and money that I've wasted and people that I've hurt and the Savior that I've forgotten. Until yesterday, that is.
Yesterday, I cried. And it was wonderful.