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Jul 25, 2015 23:09:11 GMT -7
Thank you to everybody who has recently joined the {movement}! You are all awesome. :)
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Post by Akua on Jul 7, 2014 12:52:43 GMT -7
My title for this thread is "Will the real ladies please stand up?" To be perfectly honest, I don't know where this post is even going but I have a lot of thoughts on my mind and this is catharsis for me. Ready?
There is so much talk about living our lives to the Proverbs 31 Standard. SO much talk. In fact, I am part of a website that is ENTIRELY dedicated to making sure that we, as daughters of Christ, can fit that lady-like mold. I think there is a notion of "daughterly perfection"; that if we all try hard enough, we can all be the absolute perfect daughter of Christ, the patient and loving and kind daughters who don't speak unkind words and work at homeless shelters and sing songs in the forest for the woodland creatures to come and play in happy perfect sunshine all the live-long day.
The problem comes, I think, when it's only talk and not action. For me, I can say that I want to be a '31 Woman' all day long, one who walks in the Lord and speaks with patience and kindness and has a gentle heart and etc etc, but I don't think I can ever really make that true connection. Me?! I'm a fairly mean individual (...if you people could only hear some of my thoughts... ooh CHILE), who often forgets to pray, and sometimes makes dirty jokes, who likes to subtly brag about my academic achievements, whose mind is often run rampant with profanity and negativity, and whose heart is soooo far from the gentle and long-suffering place where it needs to be. Often times I am unapologetically vain, and I am able to gossip like it's my day job... because my current behavior is so easy and comfortable. Now to my friends at school, I'm a pretty good person. When I see myself in comparison to that 'Proverbs 31 Woman', I feel like the most morally depraved person, shameful and flesh-serving and self-seeking in most of my daily actions.
What gives? Where is the disconnect between being a fairly okay person by the world's standards and a good woman by the 'Proverbs 31 Standard?' How can I talk all this talk about wanting to be that perfect lady of God and making my text message signatures "~That Proverbs 31 Lady~" and co-starting a blog dedicated to just standard that when I sometimes feel like this incredible benchmark of ladylike perfection can never be achieved by my VERY human self. (As I post this, note how one of my profile pictures is actually a picture with some seemingly impossible Proverbs 31 text written right on it.... it's not hypocritical if I call myself out... right? riGHT?!)
I truly think that this Proverbs 31 thing is hard. We are so human and we are so inclined to live our lives for ourselves. I am so inclined to want to make a dirty joke or two. I am so inclined to look in the mirror to make sure that my eyebrows are under control and I am so inclined to be snappy in my responses and sharp in my tongue. I guess my behavior is just a side effect of living in this arguably failing world. But since we ARE constantly afflicted with these "side effects", should we even be striving to this almost fake standard of the godly daughter? Are we being completely phony, subconsciously or not, when we say that we are trying to live our lives to the Proverbs 31 fullest and we live our lives in a completely different way?
So I turn this thread over to you, whoever is reading this. Do you think the Proverbs 31 Standard is even possible? Or is it all talk, just an ideal that simply makes us feel good about ourselves when we just say, just claim that we're striving towards it? Is there any way we can meld the two together- our human selves, and our Proverbs selves? This thread is not a place for judgment, and at the sake of sounding like a misplaced middle aged woman, I just want to say that this place is the place for #realtalk. We know that God is big and honest enough to hear our big and honest feelings, and I would love to get some good discussion going on this topic.
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Administrator
Feb 1, 2015 11:38:54 GMT -7
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Post by monkeyandbananas on Jul 7, 2014 20:16:53 GMT -7
I think the Proverbs 31 standard is very much possible! I mean everything in the Bible that we are instructed to do/be is completely doable. Our God is a God of possibility, with him all things are possible (Philippians 4:13) Yes if we are trying to do it BY OURSELVES, we will definitely fail but if we do it with God I believe it is very much attainable. I think just striving to be a 31 woman is a step in the right direction. However, when we just start quoting verses from Proverbs 31 and start being women who are listeners and NOT doers of the Word (James 1:22), then we have a problem.
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Administrator
Jul 25, 2015 23:09:11 GMT -7
Thank you to everybody who has recently joined the {movement}! You are all awesome. :)
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Post by Akua on Jul 9, 2014 0:47:30 GMT -7
monkeyandbananasThank you for your earnest reply.. you are totally appreciated! I would just like to know, then, how do you suppose we are able to live our lives as 31 Women without being too ostracized, or (hmmmm this is going to sound awful when I type it), but too Godly to be relateable? Sometimes I see girls on facebook who post bible verses as statuses every single day and who are never unkind to anybody and always have a good thing to say.... and instead of being encouraged by them and uplifted by their good natures, often times I feel threatened or turned off by their portrayed perfection. I know that they're not perfect- we're all human, of course. I guess I'm just trying to say, how do we make sure that we are still our REAL selves, our real selves that are bursting with personality and lame jokes and cute idiosyncrasies, the real humans that we are, while still being the enlightened, uplifted daughters that God wants us to be?
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Post by ciatheheir on Jul 9, 2014 10:11:35 GMT -7
I think that we have to stop comparing ourselves to other women. We are all personalized to our journey and walk. Plus we can not read minds [unless God gave you a talent. . . or something lol (a joke)!] so we don't know what those women who seem seamlessly perfect are thinking or what they've struggled with or struggling with to appearing perfect. For me I've been starting with 1 Peter 3: 4-6, [Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as “my dear husband.” You’ll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and unintimidated. (message bible)] I honestly have only read Proverbs 31 once or twice all together. And then I've heard it quoted. . . but I don't get crazy trying to fill out that prescription piece by piece because I know God is already preparing me with 1 Corinthians 13. I don't focus so much on Proverbs 31 because to me it seems like a lot of those characteristic steam from Love. And it appears to be that once you get to a place of courtship with a man then those actions will come about. . . But I do see character traits that I am sure we already have and don't notice most of the time. We're already women of the Most High God! We praise our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. So Go to God and ask Him to help you be the woman that would please Him. Remember that He wants you to remain earthly because we are that too. Our bodies are made of the earth. I am becoming better at this too. . . remaining relate-able. It does get difficult at times because some times I don't want to be around anyone because its like I have a big slip of people on one side not yet found or answering to God and then I have people who are answering to God but they're some times to me too judgmental to be comfortable around. But I am allowing myself to be human, to be free, to breathe and stretch out right where I am and where I go. I ask God to help Him put Him first. And even if I do have a "dirty" thought that I shouldn't be thinking at that moment. . . because I'm not married (/.\) [me covering my face] but I ask God for forgiveness, and let Him know I am trying! Lord You do know my heart! That isn't my excuse but I laugh about it. I accept His forgiveness give myself a hug and hug Him (my body because His Spirit is in me) and keep it moving. Even when I think mean thoughts towards someone I check myself because the Holy Spirit is checking me. I ask for forgiveness again and again all day long. But that's what it's there for!!! Mercies are new every morning! And if the unbeliever can come to God any time while earth is still here then so we can!
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Administrator
Jul 25, 2015 23:09:11 GMT -7
Thank you to everybody who has recently joined the {movement}! You are all awesome. :)
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Post by Akua on Jul 10, 2014 22:13:33 GMT -7
Mhmmmm, I absolutely loved this post. Loved it. I think that I've come to the conclusion that I don't have to place my entire well-being on that one passage. Proverbs 31 is a great tool and guideline for delineating just what a man should look for in a woman, but I also think that if we are truly invested in the love of Christ and He is in us, then all the things of Proverb s 31 will fall into place. It's kind of like trying to change a person from the outside in, from the superficial to the deep, when really, an inside, total transformation into a lover of Christ will take care of everything else on the outside... My life is God's and my womanhood is God's as well, and I will try my diligent best to be Akua that he wants me to be. I also love what you said about remaining relateable, because that's what Christianity should be about. We're not too high and mighty and heavenward bound that we can't realize what and who we have on this Earth... I mean if Jesus, the King of kings and Lord of lords, was able to recognize, appreciate, and walk in humanity, then we, the lowly sinners who proclaim to love him, must do the same. Your post inspired SO much thinking in me, you have no idea! Thinking in what I want to see in myself as a woman of God and in what I want to see in my future husband. Hmmm, hmmmm, just hmmm! A good kind of hmm, though #merciesareneweverymorning #causeGREATisthyfaithfulness
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Post by ciatheheir on Jul 11, 2014 6:42:39 GMT -7
( : great ! You have me thinking too! To remember to remain me! And be my whole self, body, mind, and spirit.
Yes thank God for New mercies cause I need them!!!
- exhales * He is preparing us . . . thank God! Hallelujah !
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Post by Marian on Jul 14, 2014 14:00:30 GMT -7
Hello Akua, Thank you for the honesty in this post. Just stumbled on this via 31women.tumblr.com/. This discussion has really blessed me because I have had similar questions recently. It is amazing how on reading your post, I felt blessed with the answers I needed. First and foremost I am so grateful to God for Christ Jesus who died that all may live. Grateful that His perfection covers our imperfection. grateful that we don’t have to worry about being transformed because He who does the transforming can be trusted to transform us. He has never failed before. Trying to attain Proverbs 31 ideal I found that I soon became this woman trying to become a Godly woman in my own strength. I quickly realized that it is impossible. Not the ideal in itself but a sinner like me trying to reflect the likeness of Christ of my own accord. Only the Holy Spirit worketh any change in a human being but I am so grateful that because God seeks that none should perish that He is willing and able to make us the best women we can be in Christ. I think the most important characteristic or quality about the Proverbs 31 woman is that she is in Christ Jesus, and in Him we can become all things. The Bible says that God is faithful to complete the good work in us that He has begun. Leave this work to Him, we only need to be willing to surrender, the renewing is His work to do. What struck me from your post also was that it is ok to be unique in personality. Our character is supposed to be like Christ but God does not make us to have the exact same personality. Just as no two leaves are the same in design, no two people are meant to be exactly the same or devoid of their personality. So in context of your post, the proverbs 31 woman in Character is Christ like in character but in reality she also has certain things about her personality that are different from the next Godly woman and that is ok. We can be governed by love but still have personality. With reference to the women who always seem to have a kind word to say and edifying word on their social media pages… this is a good thing and to God be the glory but let us realistically remember that all are sinners striving for perfection in Christ. So none while here on this earth is perfect yet. If we could attain that, we would not have needed a Savior. So social media is unrealistic in the sense that you only get to see what a person edits and specifically chooses to share so don’t get a real sense of what they may be wrestling with; the sin they are strugging with or whatever. So yes in conclusion the Proverbs 31 woman is attainable but only in Christ Jesus and it is ok being yourself while your at in, in the faith that the God that has given you the desire to be the best you can be in Him, has got you and can make you all He knew at the cross that you could be. Stay blessed and thanks for blessing me with this post.
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Administrator
Jul 25, 2015 23:09:11 GMT -7
Thank you to everybody who has recently joined the {movement}! You are all awesome. :)
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Post by Akua on Jul 22, 2014 12:02:31 GMT -7
Ahhh, thank you so much for you reply Marian! Sorry to have been MIA for the entire week; was at a youth camp with little free time to just contemplate things and type.
First and foremost, I love what you said about being able to keep one's personality and still be governed by love. I LOVE that. If anybody knows me in real life, you'll know that I like to make incredibly cheesy puns (I'm the queen of puns.... may as well call me raPUNzel...), dance to everything that comes on on the radio, incorporate beat-boxing into every group setting that I'm in, spend hours days watching Grey's Anatomy, and so much more. I love that in Christ, I don't have to feel guilty for being myself.... I am allowed to think my jokes are hilarious, and I'm allowed to feel the inevitable groove whenever an Azonto dance song comes on (shoutout to all my Africans)!!
Jesus didn't die for my "unique" (hehe) personality, He died for ME. My quirks and my shortcomings and my failures and my crazy dance moves are all apart of me, but I love being assured that the Savior of my life won't even judge me for my idiosyncracies, and that women who live by that Proverbs 31 standard don't have to fit into a cookie cutter image of perfection. *sings* Red and yellow, black and white, we're all precious in his sight...
In regards to what you set about not comparing ourselves to other women, I think you're completely, completely right. We all have our own individual responsibilities to accept Salvation, and I really can't get anywhere by just trying to measure up to the next woman that I see in the church pew. It also is hard trying to get my head around the fact that some of the most amazing women that I know have had personal struggles in the past. Is it bad (ok this is going to sound really bad...) that when I found out that one of my "Proverbs 31" inspirations had lived sort of a party life in the past, I mentally rejoiced? It sounds absolutely awful for me to say that, but I think it was the most humanizing thing for me to see that. That this woman that I had imagined as the perfect lady in Christ, with no err and no flaw, had actually fallen short in the past... but she was able to get back up in the victory of Christ. How powerful is that? How majestic is His name!?!
It's SO reassuring to know that our pasts have been and will be transformed by the cleansing power of Jesus Christ. Thank all of you guys for your insightful posts, and here's to living out our lives with holiness and love.
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Administrator
Jul 25, 2015 23:09:11 GMT -7
Thank you to everybody who has recently joined the {movement}! You are all awesome. :)
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Post by Akua on Aug 4, 2014 9:31:55 GMT -7
After going to a Christian retreat this weekend, I've decided that living my life as a Proverb 31 Woman isn't enough for me.
I want to be a Psalms 23 Woman, one who trusts in the Lord more than I trust in myself and my steps towards becoming ~That Proverbs 31 Woman~ and one who fears neither evil or disappointment.
I've always had quite a few issues with trusting that my Lord will lead and prevail, but now I KNOW that righteousness will always be enough for me.
*sings* Tis so sweeeet to trust in Jesus! :-)
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